This Side of Heaven

The last 3 days have been a bit chaotic, and filled with lots of information which has been a bit overwhelming.  I felt talking about today's neurologist visit, would be easier via blog than via Facebook, so here we go.

Yesterday Brady had an MRI at St. Mary's hospital.  He did great during the MRI, and handled his anesthesia like a champion!  Today we headed to Dr. Taylor, Brady's neurologist to have the results read.  I had been pondering how I would react if the news was bad, but deep down... I had a feeling that I was worrying for no reason.  I just knew that we would go in, and he would say "His scan looks great, and there is nothing to worry about".  That however, is not what happened.  I got to the hospital just in time, and a hiccup at the valet station, caused me to stress and all but run to the office.  I made it at 10:46... good, one minute late!  Derik drove separate, and was already there, and had checked us in.  After 20 minutes, I thought... something seems off.  Why is it taking so long??  We had 2 appointments ahead of us, sitting in the waiting room.  So, we asked and found out that everything appointment was running behind at least 45 minutes.  GREAT... Brady, fell asleep, and I sat there thinking of every possible outcome of this appointment, except what we heard.  The doctor finally called us back, and until he started talking... I still thought this trip was going to end well. 

"Well, the MRI showed us 2 completely separate brain abnormalities"... and my heart sank.  If there is one thing that I never wish to hear someone say about my children again... it is the term brain abnormality.  One of the abnormalities is directly linked to one of the red flags we had talked about previously, with our neurologist.  The other abnormality is not linked to any of his issues.  There are 2 white patches that were prevalent on the MRI.  There are not supposed to be there, and while we know that is a problem, we do not know why they are there.  The other abnormality was the one that ripped my heart open.  Most human brains are bumpy on the outside.  When you look at a cross section of an MRI, you will see bumps... and most of Brady's scan appeared that way.  However, the frontal lobe on his right side was smooth.  This simply means that when his brain was developing in utero, the nerves that stretch and span to make those bumps, didn't do this on the right side.  The right side of the brain, controls the left side of your body... and Brady has had trouble using his left hand completely for some time.  Now we know why, and what we learned is that he will most likely never have full use of that arm and hand.  It will be a "helper hand" as the neurologist called it. 

As a mom, I immediately jumped to the bad place.  I was worried that he would never play sports, or live any sort of normal "little boy" life.  The neurologist said that since he has the problem at such a young age, he will learn to work around it, and more than likely be capable of doing anything he wants.  That at least took some of the sting off of it.  We will most likely see an Occupational & Physical Therapists for some time, and the neurologist has high hopes that it will HELP.  However, nothing can fix this problem.  That is part of what bothered me, I think.  Knowing that there is nothing I can do for my son... no medicine, no surgery, no treatment can fix it, HURTS.

We will also see a Genetic Counselor.  There is a genetic disorder which can cause the entire brain to be smooth, and since Brady has only part of a smooth brain, it could be a genetic translocation.  If that is the case, we need to know what that means for any future children, and any children that Brady may have.

The good news is... it is nothing fatal, and it isn't something that will make him suffer for the rest of his life.  However, the bad news is... that it will be a set back that he has to learn to cope with.  As a mom, we want the absolute best for a children.  I am so sad to know that I can't do anything for Brady to help him here.  I can provide therapists, and I will... but I feel helpless.  I know God has a plan, and I will not understand it this side of heaven.  But, that isn't making this any easier to swallow.

Please keep our family in your prayers, as this is not over yet.  If you have any questions about any of this... I will be happy to answer them for you.

Thank you for all of your prayers and encouragement...
We love you.

 - Jessica