Mommy BASH

Some of my mommy friends will be elated to hear that the Mommy BASH Awards were cancelled this year!!  I know personally, I am ecstatic!  This award ceremony is for Mommies who Breastfeed & Are Super Human... yes I am making this up!

WARNING... I do not wish to insult anyone with this post, I am simply venting...

The first time that I heard about a woman going through a pregnancy PROBLEM FREE and giving birth naturally with no drugs involved, I took the whole concept for granted.  I thought that having a baby was a piece of cake!  This was of course BEFORE I ever got pregnant!

(Enter my 1st positive pregnancy test...)
We started calling all of our family and friends and were beyond excited to share our good news!  We were oblivious to the idea that anything could go wrong, and wrong it went.  We miscarried, and had to share the devastating news.

We thought when we had our next pregnancy test and got past the first 12 weeks that we were safe!  NOT... at 22 weeks I started spotting, and at 32 weeks... BED REST.  I was on bed rest for a month, and even doing absolutely nothing triggered labor 3 times before Abbie graced us with her presence.  Let me clarify for those who have never experienced it before, there is nothing false about the preterm labor I went through.  I labored hard 4 times with each baby.  Drugs were used each time to stop the labor as I was 32 weeks with each when it started.  The 4th time with each child... I labored through drugs.
The night before Abbie arrived, I thought my water had broken.  We checked into the hospital after contractions had started at around 1030.  I labored through the night with COUNTLESS cervical checks and tests & an ultrasound to determine if my water had in fact broken.  They never could tell me.  But after 9 hours of laboring through the drugs to try and stop it, the doctor feared my uterus was in danger of rupturing.  So, off to the OR I went.  The decision to have the C-Section was made around 7:45 and we met Abbie at 8:21am.  It was quick, and it was terrifying, and I was never even given the option to do anything naturally.  The decision was beyond me and was based on what was safe for my child. 

16 months later we got a big surprise with another positive pregnancy test!  We were excited, but feared the worst when I began bleeding at 10 weeks.  We thought we had lost the baby and learned it was a minor issue.  We had another scare later into the pregnancy when they told us there were chances of Brady having Down Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy.  Another happy day, shattered into a million pieces.  We were just supposed to find out if it was a boy or a girl, and we left terrified.  At 32 weeks... the preterm labor began.  I spent 4 days in the hospital the first time.  Then after 3 trips back, laboring for 10 hours through the drugs, and another doctor fearing my uterus would rupture, we were swept into the OR for another C-Section where we met Brady!
Abbie arrived at 36 weeks 1 Day & Brady arrived at 35 weeks 4 days.  Both children early, both children by section, and neither time was I ever given the option to have a baby naturally!
I have what doctor's call a "Uterine Anomaly" called a Bicornuate Uterus.  Where most women have a round, circle shaped uterus, I have a heart.  That means there are 2 chambers, and my children get stuck in a breech position.  The chances of me ever having a baby get into the head down position was slim to none.  Breech babies are not exactly the easiest to deliver, but when you mix that with a problematic uterus... it makes for a bad combo!

This means, I will never give birth naturally.  I will never get the opportunity to try having a child without drugs, and I am just fine with that!  It doesn't mean that I am not a Super Woman!  Reading stories, or hearing friends tell me about their incredible birthing experience with no drugs, and a calm environment just sounds absurd to me!  My labor hurt, the contractions hurt, and the drugs were WONDERFUL!!!
A girlfriend of mine had an emergency C-Section with her first baby after laboring and pushing.  They did her section with no additional drugs, and she felt everything.  (Shout out to Stephanie Titus... you should get a Super Woman Award for that!!!)
My whole point is... Im over it!  I worked hard to get my babies here, and I'm proud I did it.  I'm proud that I bit my lip when I was told I had to have a C-Section.  I'm proud that I took the spinal.  And I'm proud that TWICE, I have taken care of my newborn while recovering from a surgery in which they basically cut me in half!!!!! (exaggeration... yes... get over it!)
I also had breastfeeding issues.  With Abbie my supply diminished, starting when she was 4.5 months old.  I pumped as much as I could, for as long as I could, but at 6 months... it was a lost cause.  With Brady, I had an overabundant supply.  However, there was no hind milk, which apparently is a problem.  2 babies, 2 completely different issues... no breastfeeding success stories.
SO... to sum up...
I DO NOT wish to attend the Big Latch On event that is sweeping the nation, so stop sending me e-vites!
I DO NOT want to read another story about a woman who had her baby in her living room with no drugs.
I DO NOT wish to insult any of my friends or family, so please understand that this is a sore subject.
Telling a woman that you had a super human birth when she will never have the chance for that experience is like telling an infertile friend that you are pregnant.  I am excited for you all, but that is just where I stand.
No one gives awards out for being super human or breastfeeding your baby exclusively until they are 2.  I am glad that your babies didn't recieve any drugs, but mine did... LET'S MOVE ON!!!

 - Jessica